Your Roleplays! Tell me about them!!

Y'know, this thread should have a "Content Humorous" label affixed to the title :D

Just glad I hadn't been drinking anything while reading through this. I'll have to sit down and type up some of my rpg games and memorable moments ;)

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Core to the Quad baby!!!

If your going to complement me, don't tell me my work is neat, cool or awesome. If you really like it, tell me why you like it and what you like about it. Only then I'll take it as a complement.

Last night, my group decided to invade a crimelord's lair. BUT FIRST, they needed explosive charges. So they visited Watto in the back of a seedy joint in Mos Espa to buy some and realized they didn't have enough money (because Watto wanted 3,000 credits). So they devised a plan...

First they needed a mark, which they found in Mos Eisley. Then the Chiss doctor pretended to mug the Zeltron scoundrel, in plain view of the mark. The Zeltron scoundrel used this ruse to seduce the mark, give him a sob story about leaving for Coruscant, and then disappear. Then the Squib pilot offered the mark chartered passage to Coruscant for a reasonable down payment of 3,000 (he then upped the down payment to 4,000, because he just couldn't help himself). The plan went off perfectly (in MONTAGE form) and they got their explosives.

But the great part, because I was too lazy to invent an NPC for this encounter, they wound up swindling (and convincing to join the Rebellion) - BIGGS DARKLIGHTER. LOL

Boshuda

Good stuff! It's good to see there are other intelligent, good-humored gamers out there fighting the good fight, as it were.

As for me, I've never really gotten into any RPGs besides SW. I played a little DnD, always a monk, when groups needed a player, but always ended up nonplussed with the abilities granted by level progression. That's the primary reason SW Saga appeals to me; I like that you can potentially have entire large groups all of the same class, but still have a wide spectrum of abilities.

That said, I've been accused of being too strict when running games, but not in any fun-killing way. I always use 25pt planned generation, which makes a player put more thought into his character, and ensures that the player does not get into the game until he is perfectly comfortable with the character.

With that out of the way, I absolutely LOVE introducing new players to the system, and have a campaign specifically designed around it that requires no knowledge of SW canon or technology and is intended to go from lvl1-20. I've been hammering out details each time I run it (a grand total of twice lol), and this more recent iteration has been a nonstop thrill-ride for all involved, if I may be so bold. Without further ado, here's a synopsis.

It all begins on an undiscovered planet in the unknown regions (pick a name that feels right, I usually use Arabic words or phrases for planet/NPC names as notes to myself that the other players can't figure out.), where a society, made entirely of the players' species, and Mon Calamari (if they're not already represented in the party), believes itself to be alone in the galaxy; that each species evolved naturally on the planet. The tech level is very similar to modern-day Earth, just a tad more advanced, but not at blaster-level tech. A large conglomeration of companies has established a small mining colony on the moon, but that's as far out as anyone's gone. The Jedi maintain a small council and claim allegiance to no state, and wander from place to place doing good, Kung Fu style.

There are also Sith around, who maintain secret island fortresses in the oceans. The oceans themselves are 'owned' and protected by the Mon Calamari (along with any other aquatic races among the players), who maintain free trade and serve as neutral parties in disputes between state governments. Thus, with the boring background part over, the fun begins.

On a side note, I feel incredibly pretentious rambling on about all this. If it's turning any gears for anyone though, I'd be obliged to continue if anyone wants to hear more. Thanks for reading thus far, at any rate :)

Known simply as "The Great Chase Scene" from our first campaign many years ago (had to dig this one up from an old post of mine on the holonet forums)...

Note: Before reading any further, I'd suggest playing "Chariots of Fire", for mood music.

1. In the lead, we have Torax, fearsome Sith apprentice (who looks suspicsiously like Hiei from YuYu Hakusho, thanks to that particular player having an obsession) running in sheer terror from...

2. Anubis, a Dark Jedi who works for the New Republic. In his hands, he holds the Divine Right, a powerful weapon that never misses and never leaves a survivor. Torax has become the first and only person to successfully dodge this uber-weapon, and Anubis has ignited his light-bayonet, and is now chasing him down madly, his pony tail and black cloak billowing out behind him as he runs.

3. Behind him is General Maximus and two shadowtroopers, waving their lightsabers threateningly. Maximus is another Sith apprentice, and he feels obligated to help his "friend" before the raving lunatic with the big gun catches him.

4. Behind them runs Lord Dais, Sith Master to Torax. All things considered, his apprentice needs as much help as he can right now, and Dais isn't about to let him down, because a good, loyal apprentice is hard to find these days. Besides, he thought this might be amusing. As he runs, his danger sense starts going nuts, and he glances behind him to see...

5. A Graboid (from Tremors, no less) has heard all the running feet and decided that all these athletes sound like a very tasty meal. It falls in pursuit behind Lord Dais, oblivious to the fact that behind it is...

6. A lone storm commando, running in fear, praying to any and all gods that he doesn't trip, because behind him is...

7. Ki, an insane black guy with a large smart gun filled with explosive rounds. This poor storm commando managed to dodge Ki's assault, and Ki, like Anubis, does not take the idea of missing his target gracefully. What Ki fails to realize is that behind him is...

8. Talon, the storm commando's CO, wearing, of all things, a Guyver unit. With all the Sith making a run for it, and with his last soldier on the run from a maniacal Rambo-wannabe, he decides it's time to cut and run. But, behind him is...

9. Lt. Jon Woo of the Rebel Alliance, the most destructive and most violent Jawa to ever exist. His hood has been pulled back as he's chasing Talon, wielding a stolen Sith sword that's as big as he is. The sword is held above his head, in prime position to come slashing down and bisect Talon (once he catches up to him), and all the while he's screaming obscenities in various languages.

10. Dorn, the Klingon warrior (what can I say? The player demanded a Klingon), waving his bat'leth and screaming a battle cry. He has no clue as to what started the chase; all he knows is that at the end of this run, there's likely to be a huge brawl, and that's good enough for him.

11. Behind him is Ryo, the sarcastic yet good hearted young Jedi who finds this entire ordeal to be utterly hilarious. He's running, purely because he finds it to be funnier than hell.

12. Behind him runs the Noghri sniper, Slick. Slick has dropped to all fours and is tearing after them all like a Hound of Hell. He, too, sees there is no point in being in this chase, but damn, it was too funny to pass up.

When it was all said and done, the chase had been recorded by a holocam (thanks to Slick.) How he pulled out recording it all and running in it, we'll never know... It was broadcast accross the galaxy later, meant to be a slap in the face for the Imperials, but Torax was unfazed. He had a shot of himself, a closeup, enlarged and placed on posters galaxy wide. The caption? "Lord Torax: Setting a new standard in athletic excellence."

That's okay, because the rest of the galaxy made use of the chase for various advertisements, such as...

"Gatorade, $2. A new pair of Nikes, $90. Running in abject terror from a maniac with a big gun, priceless... Some things in life are priceless. For everything else, there's the Imperial MasterCard."

We've all talked before about how this impromptu chase may be the most absurd and hilarious thing we've ever done and that we need to find a way to top it, but I'm not quite sure we ever will, especially considering our campaigns are slightly less absurd now.

And in our last campaign, our Lgeacy-era crew set out on a mission to redeem a Sith warrior who happened to be the son of our Captain. With none of the crew knowing how best to help someone see the light, the decision was made to construct a "detox" chamber surrounded by Ysalamiri to cut off the prisoner from the Force and the influence of the Dark Side so that they might be open to reason.

Since we thought it could be a lengthy process, the chamber was made to feel less like a prison cell and more like a small apartment with a few comforts...and then the captain decided that we'd capture Darth Talon and test this on her first rather than his son, partially because my ex-Imperial Knight was interested in redeeming his former enemy and fighting along side her for a change (among other things *coughcough*).

We found a design flaw with the chamber; the extra "comforts" we added to make it feel less like a cell. The comforts had included things like a bed, a bathroom...and a small yet functional kitchen. Our dear captain was smart enough to not leave any sharp objects in there, but when he attempted to force her to listen to reason (in a rather blunt fashion), Talon snatched a frying pan from her little kitchen and tried to knock his head off whilst screaming obscenities and death threats.

...after that, we had to strip the chamber of anything that could possibly be used as a melee weapon, and the only meals she could have from that point forward were MREs.

We all found it hilarious and have always pictured that scene happening with the characters chibified for extra absurdity...well, most of us; the player who was our captain was considerably less-than-amused with getting whopped upside the head by a frying pan.

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Links removed because the spam filter apparently doesn't like me, but I shall have vengeance. And maybe beer. Beer and vengeance.

Seghast, sounds like a wild conga line lol

As per Tusserk's encouragement, I'll go on about my current campaign, which I call the Ardent Dreamer. I'll get it all down on paper in detail someday and maybe throw it online somewhere. Either way, here goes.

In accordance with the technology level, and partially because I consider them mildly overpowered early in the game, Jedi will start out with the equivalent of vibroblades that are, in effect, primitive lightsabers.

The heroes begin in the Four Winds hotel in New Kroy, either as guests or spectators for a summit held by the Jedi council. The Jedi are expected to announce an important technological discovery that will change society, and they want to ensure that every government is allowed access to it. Exact details are not forthcoming, but there is also a considerable presence from the many governments of the world. Security is tight, and the city has even insisted on issuing guards to the many Jedi present.

Thus, the heroes can start in any role; press, dignitaries, scientists, street urchins, security, Jedi, or just any unfortunate schmuck near the hotel the evening before the summit is to begin.

A brawl starts between security of rival states down in the bar at the hotel, which spills out into the streets. The fracas is cut short, however, when the building is rocked by an explosion. Any Force-sensitives will have a chance to feel one or more darkside presences, as well as the deaths of many Jedi Masters, and characters get perception checks to spot lightning coming out of the side of the building, along with copious amounts of debris. The lobby/bar fills with smoke and elevators and stairs are impassable.

As the players find out, there are simultaneous assassinations worldwide, of government leaders and Jedi, which throws the continents into chaos. The characters are guided to a safehouse as criminal elements overrun the city with blaster technology. The Mon Calamari have managed to maintain order in the oceans, however, but are fractured into Loyalists, defending the Mon Cal gov't, and a strong mercenary force fighting with blaster weapons.

The Loyalists are interested in evacuating the city, so the heroes are met by a contact driving something out of Mad Max through the burning, carnage-ridden streets. Identifying himself as Lt Bax Bassad, he helps the heroes fight their way to a pier where he has a ship ready to take them to what remains of the Jedi Council.

This is one of my favorite parts, with my absolute favorite NPC. For whatever reason, and I'm not kidding, I roll crits three out of four times for Bax. He wields a flamethrower with a vibrobayonet, and, after some embellishment from both me and the group, he has become an utterly horrific carnage-machine. He has become notorious for such things as dancing around in entrails and leaving skewered opponents hanging on walls. At one point, a mercenary/pirate was captured alive during the escape from the city, and the players rolled to intimidate him for interrogation. I rolled for Bax as well, and managed to roll a crit miss of all things. The group decided that his attempt to intimidate must have consisted of an apron over his bloodied armor and a cute hat with a flower in it, and his earnest plea to 'pleeeeease tell me who you're working for'. We all decided this would be much more frightening than anyone else's ideas for interrogation (that didn't involve the accumulation of Darkside Points), so we all had a lovely tea party with Miss Nezbit, and got the information we needed about mercenaries and pirates being hired by Sith to overthrow world governments.

I could go on, but suffice to say that, for seven more levels thus far, Bax has proven himself to be quite the recurring, and always dramatic, NPC, swooping in to save the day, or, on one occasion, rolling poorly to place an explosive device, resulting in copious amounts of reconstructive and cybernetic surgery. Of course, that's this time around.

Last time I ran this campaign was with players who were more comfortable with the system and RPing in general, so their own hijinks outweighed any amount of prodding I had to do with the storyline. Last time around, one of my friends played a Togorian who, miraculously, managed to seduce a female Togorian NPC of some importance. From then on, whenever there's a 'grown-up' scene, one or more of us, like clockwork, will break into Marvin Gaye's 'Lets Get it on' ('I been really tryyyyyyyyin baby...'), and that scene fades into the next morning.

Such good times with good friends. Alot of my players were in the military with me at the time, so it's a good way to look back on the intense camaraderie we all shared. Gives me warm fuzzies.

Ah, the Great Chase. We had to stop gaming because we were all laughing so hard. Allow me to add my own it of genius to this.

The gaming group Seghast and I belong to has had some changes over the years, due to some players losing interest in part to my inept GM'ing (We were young and it was out first campaign) Our current group plays 4 games: Star Wars D6, Star Wars D20 Saga Edition, DC Heroes D6 and a LoTR offshoot still in the planning stages. The group Consists of myself GM'ing the Saga Edition game and the LoTR game and our friend "Mike" GM'ing the Star Wars D6 and DC D6 games. The other players are Seghast, my cousin who is just starting to find his stride after gaming for about a year, and my next door neighbor "Dev" who is just starting to game and is in the middle of the customary hazing that new players go through.

If you have seen Seghast's request for the pirate, mechanic and slightly unstable wookiee, I play "The Ultimate Wookiee" who is a cross between former WWE Champion The Ultimate Warrior and WCW legend Scott Steiner. Any wrestling fans will understand and is probably shaking their heads in shame. If you don't know these men, YouTube them and you'll see.

We were on a planet with a small wrestling promotion known as ECW and The Ultimate Wookiee was paid to lose his title to this upstart Barabel so that the small promotion could expand. After some heated contract negotiations (The Ultimate Wookiee had 8D in contract negotiations) a deal was reached. After The Ultimate Wookiee made his patented entrance of running around the ring and shaking the ropes, the upstart Barabel entered the arena. The match was being contested under ECW rules which meant anything goes and falls count anywhere. So as the Barabel was abhout halfway down the entrance ramp, The Ultimate Wookiee took a running start, jumped off the top turnbuckle and delivered his patented finisher The Ultimate Bellyflop to the Barabel with a full 8D Strength damage. The Barabel was of course flattened and turned into a greasy smear on the ramp along with his rather curvy Twi'lek escort, but such is the way of things.

As the crowd began booing and threatening to riot, The Ultimate Wookiee rolled over to place his shoulders to the ground and pulled the now lifeless Barabel over him, allowing the ref to count the 1-2-3 and call for the bell. The Ultimate Wookiee therefore upheld his end of the bargin and was beaten by the Barabel.

Wrestling fans know of the "Fingerpoke of Doom" in which Hulk Hogan was forced to face his NWO teamate Kevin Nash for the WCW Title. Hulk Hogan poked Kevin Nash with his finger and Nash hit the mat allowing Hogan to win the match. Taking inspiration from that, I trumped the "Fingerpoke of Doom" by now giving the Star Wars Universe the "Bellyflop of Doom"!!!

It was great sitting there drinking my gatorade while the GM just sat there staring at me with his mouth gaping open like a fish while Seghast laughed his ass off and out new players were looking to each other wondering what they had gotten into.

"The battle is not always won to the strongest, but to those who keep on fighting." - Unknown

Ah, Sorry Tusserk. I got all caught up in the excitement and forgot to mention that Bax is indeed Mon Cal. He also goes by the name Firefish, on account of his bright red skin and penchant for arson when he was younger, to include a criminal record for the same.

An interesting note or two is that 'Fish', as far as I know, is a racial slur for aquatic species, however Bax allows his friends to call him that as a shortened form of 'Firefish'. He is also terrifying to other Mon Cal because he wields a flamethrower, and a most terrifying and ignominous death for an aquatic species is to be burned to death. Most other Mon Cal, and the like, won't wield flame weapons out of respect and a slight fear of fire. Most of that is conjecture for the campaign, but seems to work out well.

For a time I thought our group was just friggin' insane with the stuff we have pulled, but now I see it's fairly common. If I may, I would like to share something from our most recent game.

Our Star Wars Saga Edition game is set in the KoTOR timeframe, around the same time as the upcoming SWTOR game. Each player has two characters; one main and a secondary that adds a support role to the group.

My two characters are Dominic Orion, a Miralukan Jedi who plays up being "blind". I was kinda thinking along the lines of an old japanese movie about a blind swordsman when I rolled him. My secondary character is Lev Kazron, a Zeltron pistoleer and the ship's medic.

My cousin's main character is Ringo Woo, a jawa soldier and the start of the "Woo Dynatsy" of battle crazed and also simply crazed jawa family. Ringo is going to have the entire Sith Army in therapy with his latest gem of brilliance. He found an old miniature ATV and repaired it so that he doesn't get left behind anymore. He then covered it in faux fur and affixed a Bantha-esque head to the front of the vehicle. After scrounging and stealing the appropriate gear, me mounted twin blaster rifles behind the 'eyes' of the bantha and fixed a flamethrower in the mouth. So now the next time we have a battle in an open enough area, the jawa will ride into battle atop a miniature bantha that shoots blasters from it's eyes and breathes fire. All the while Ringo will be in his confiscated and tailored Sith Robes and wielding his stolen lightsaber shoto. His secondary is a Given mechanic. Not much to say there as he just rolled him.

My neighbor has an unhealthy obsession with wookiees which shows in his characters. The First is "Mr. Wook" a wookiee heavy weapons specialist who carries a repeating blaster like the one seen in The Old Republic trailers. The difference is his has a pop-up d6 in a bubble (yes, like the one in the old board game Trouble). In combat, he numbers the enemies and pops the bubble, thus indicating who gets shot. He named the gun "Jackpot". His second character is a wookiee Jedi with anger management issues named "Da Wook". He stands max height for a wookiee and is build much like Tarful, only broader in the shoulders and wields a two-handed claymore of a lightsaber.

Mike, who Gm's our other games has chosen a rather odd pair for his characters. First is Ravik, a Rodian Jedi Sentinel who takes his job of eradicating the Dark Side a little too seriously. He also has developed a drinking problem, and his drink of choice is...himself. (We told him about the story from Tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina and fate of poor Greedo and he kinda ran with it) His secondary character is Vinnie, a Nagai quartermaster who fits the very image of an Italian Mafioso down to the pinstripe suit and slicked back hair.

Then we have Seghast. Seghast never fails to amaze me with his character ideas, and he didn't let me down this time. His main character is Kanye "Chuck" Sheen, a Togorian holo-movie star who embodies the best (or worst) parts of Kanye West, Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, Gary Busey and pretty much every other celebrity who has made a public ass of themselves. Why is he with the group? He thinks he is filming the most epic and ground-breaking movie of all time! (Yes, he actually thinks this. Blame it on piss poor rolling on the player's behalf) He also believes he is an actual warlock and carries around ancient Sith tomes which he studies all the time, nevermind that he isn't Force Sensitive. Seghast's second character is Elwood Blues of Blues Brothers fame. He's the pilot and also leads to our cover as part of the "band" by landing us gigs on planets we're heading to.

So, there is the insanity I have to try and run games with. It's funny, but no matter how off track these players throw the game, I seem to be able to finish the game and get most of my story points in. All we need now is a planet to base our operations from since we were thrown off Dantooine thanks to Kanye and his new "apprentice" Ringo practicing their 'Warlock' Rituals in the middle of town. For all the insanity we throw about, everyone enjoys the hell out of gaming, and that's the real reason to game right?

"The battle is not always won to the strongest, but to those who keep on fighting." - Unknown

Oh my gosh. I really want to roleplay with you guys now. That sounds freaking amazing.

I'd like to share something fun that happened recently in our D&D game. I know, I know, it's not Star Wars... bear with me.

We were exploring a cave system, trying to find and kill what evil lurked therein, when we wittingly stumbled upon a cave full of toxic mold. Our party's perception was keen, so we avoided it altogether. JUST KIDDING. Our perception was SO KEEN we decided to send the Paladin (who is immune to such things) to collect a jar of it! You know, just in case...

When we ultimately found the evil that dwelt therein, we found a young dragon! DUN DUN DUN! We knew fighting a fair fight would be tremendously stupid, so we sent the barbarian with the jar of toxic mold to grapple the beast. Lo and behold, as the barbarian clung to the dragon's neck, the jar was smashed in the creature's nostrils. And the evil was vanquished!

In an unrelated story, I was RPing with TheLegendofJer, a fellow SWAG artist, when I lived up north. I was GMing for him and a few friends, and I decided to begin the campaign by having the characters meet in a minimum security jail on Aargau (which they had been tossed into for their various reasons. Jeremy's character "Red" had been smuggling counterfeit credits. The diminutive Kel Dor "It" was a wife-beater.) Jeremy had stashed a blaster in the toilet, and was preparing a breakout, when the guards sent an admin to inspect the cell. With the guards standing just outside, the admin peered into the toilet... and was karate-chopped in the neck TO DEATH by Jeremy Jack. That's right, a 1st-level character killed an NPC with HIS BARE HANDS. A sweet combination of Martial Arts and Sneak Attack KILLED A MAN. Haha... crazy kids.

Boshuda

While I generally loathe the idea of necroing old threads, tonight's game had a moment too good to not post.

Our crew, courtesy of Q from Star Trek, has been thrown back from the Legacy-Era to the very start of the Yuuzhan Vong invasion. We've already encountered Vong ships at the edge of the galaxy preparing for the invasion, so we ran straight through the core broadcasting warnings to all governments and organizations on open comm, including rundowns of enemy capabilities and known tactics. This has earned us wanted status by EVERYONE; the Vong for spoiling their surprise invasion and the rest of the galaxy for questioning as to how we have all this information.

Tonight we blundered into a trap laid out by the Empire to capture us, headed by infamous bounty hunter Boba Fett. Our crew is woefully unprepared for the likes of Fett, so we know we're screwed. The fact the Empire has given him two dozen stormtroopers as back up doesn't help matters at all, but the Force was with us as a Jedi Master showed up to help us.

As Master Galen squared off with Fett, we were left to tangle with the stormtroopers. Our illustrious Jack Sparrow-wannaba of a captain, Dace, gets taken down quick, barely clinging to life as the rest of us crowd around him to protect him from further damage. It takes a little while, but caught between a bounty hunter and his tricked-out R2 sidekick, a Jedi padawan, and a warrior-in-training, we make steady progress. As we get down to one final stormtrooper, he turns tail and flees, knowing he's screwed. Reese, my young warrior-in-training, turns to our R2 unit and tells him to "ninja kick the damn stormtrooper!"

Reese then promptly uses telekinesis to hurl the little droid at the trooper's head, wheels first. The droid screeches the entire way and ignites his boosters just before impact, turning the hapless trooper's head into a crispy critter.

With the lackeys taken care of, I turn my attention to trying to give first aid to Dace while the others opt to go help Master Galen against Fett.

Our bounty hunter misses with his shots and the droid fares no better; even while fighting a Jedi Master, Fett seems to be more than a match for us.

Enter our Jedi Padawan, a Mon Cal. He shuts down his lightsaber and charges at Fett recklessly, intent on helping Galen even if it costs his life. He takes a leap and screams out "FLYING FISH TACKLE!", which causes Fett to turn around just in time for a webbed hand to grab his face and slam his head down to the ground in an improvised pro-wrestling move.

*CRACK!*

The padawan hits the ground right beside Fett, props himself up on his elbow and asks "hey, how's it going?", but the legendary bounty hunter is strangely silent. The padawan knocks on Fett's helmet a few times, confused as to the lack of a response, "hey...hey...HEY!"

The might Boba Fett was felled by a half-crazed padawan with barely any training, his neck broken.

Master Galen stands in disbelief, staring down at the body. "I just spent fifteen minutes barely holding my own against him, but you...you just...I think I need an aspirin and a stiff drink."

I think my group will be seeing the "flying fish tackle" a lot more often in the future now.

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Links removed because the spam filter apparently doesn't like me, but I shall have vengeance. And maybe beer. Beer and vengeance.

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