MazzicMember since: 2007
Jumping ahead to page 18!
I took some liberties with the script on this page, combining elements from the text to create both pages 18 and 19.
I sketched page 18 while at an airport, and stayed pretty true to my initial ideas for the final. I was mulling over how to best track into the slug....and thought, "why not just go INTO it" and show the "mines." Though now, I'm not convinced I like the transition of panels 6 and 7, and the idea really comes across. Let me know if it doesn't make sense, and maybe I can replace those panels. Panel 8, the final panel, is important to leading into the next page (though what she's holding could certainly change).
I'd suggest looking at the images first, to see if the visuals make sense....THEN read the following text from the script:
Title: TIME PASSES
Ext: The remains of Kalarba. Several huge chunks of obliterated planet, mixed in with debris from the battle, and maybe a piece of two of Hosk, noticeable for a sort of mechanical shell over one face. The larger chunks each have multiple crazy-ass Vong slug-looking things attached to them, and there’s a fair amount of Vong ship activity - patrols, transports, etc. - going on amidst them all. The big warships have moved on, though.
TITLE: KALARBAN YUUZHAN VONG SHIPWOMB
We move in on one particular slug, eventually seeing growths of coral protruding from their sides - tiny in comparison to the slug, but still about the size of a respectable apartment building. These are the slave barracks; the actual mining work is done inside the slug, and should look suitably revolting. The push-in continues until we find ourselves in a large cavity inside the slug. As Sey narrates, we see first a view of the slug’s digestive area, largely devoid of Vong or slaves, then the “mining” area, where dozens of Kalarban slaves are at work separating the indigestible bits from the raw matter – picture an assembly line set up inside your stomach, with a big pile of chewed-up crap in one area and multiple assembly-line-like setups in another, with slaves everywhere; digging through the pile, lining the assembly lines, being beaten by Vong guards, etc. Lastly we cut to a hallway in the barracks, where a handful of slaves are plodding along looking four-fifths as ragged as Sey was when we first saw him on Page One. Sey himself is among them, now dressed in his nondescript spacer’s garb. With no guards are in sight, a note – written on what could only be skin of some sort – is discreetly passed from one slave to another.
NARRATION (ongoing during the above)
As for myself, I'm content to help out where I can.
With the Vong looking for slaves, and Hosk coming down in the distance, I decided I could best help these people by hiding amongst them.
While they've got biots doing the heavy lifting, Kalarban technology doesn't seem to agree with them.
They use slaves to filter some of the more novel materials out of the raw matter that will eventually become new worldships.
The conditions are abhorrent.
Could they shape some other creature to do this work in our stead?
*I'm going to work more on page 19 before posting it....but please let me know what you think about this page!*
Dude, this is looking excellent! Can't wait to see the rest of it!!
I really like the overall set up of the page... but have to admit, it all made a bit more sense to me after reading the text! Personally, I quite like the way things move from panels 6 to 8- it's the two immediately beforehand (4 and 5?) that left me feeling a little 'lost', I guess?
Still loving watching the work you're doing on this comic! And as always looking forward to seeing more.